He had been verbally abusive for years and recently had been physically abusive. We got married, I left my country, wonderful job, family, friends and came here to share my life with him. I told his family about this and they are going to take him to the psychologist today to have an evaluation for his mental state. So let him be angry by himself and know that he will calm down eventually. First things first with this, don't focus on trying to change him, because you can't.
Compassion for the abuser lets you see how different you are and how self-destructive his behavior is. Although it is unethical—and foolhardy—for professionals to diagnose someone they have not examined, it is an easy mistake to make when considering those who are chronically resentful or angry. Finally, we believe much marital conflict could be prevented if past forgiveness exercises for family of origin and dating relationship hurts were part of the Church's premarital programs. Simply letting him know, occasionally, he is appreciated for what he is doing will go a long way. He said I could and agreed that I shouldnt take anything less. At least, he has the power to eradicate it if he cares enough.
What are his depressive thoughts? Your relationship, including intimacy, household responsibilities, and finances, are also adversely affected when your husband is depressed. I'm sorry, but this isn't rationale it's more like something a little child would do in my opinion. I haven't worked in years, and now I work very part time to support his career. We used up all our savings paying for Cobra insurance and keeping our selves together. I feel like I always fall short. Spouses, who regularly overreact or misdirect their anger, tend to blame their spouse for the painful feelings they experience. For the most part of five years my partner has been depressed.
We never had a chance to exit the honeymoon stage and have never fought in the year we have known each other. Your compassion will heal you but not your partner. I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle. I was soo happy and jolly as always but the moment I came home my husband was the total opposite. However, in this process she discovered that she had buried violent impulses toward him. Maybe seek counseling, as Lucy suggested to me. If I treat her equal and act accordingly, I am called inconsiderate.
We had been friends for a while before we got together. To that extent, the man is guilty as charged. There is no cure for depression. They ruined their lives and keep on doing it. He says he believes in God but doesn't like to prsy with me or do devotions or read the Bible. Because the victim is seen as frustrated and irritable, that person may be wrongly identified by others as the angrier partner. He would tell me that his relatives would message him, but stated that he did not want to talk to them because he felt ashamed of his situation; especially because everyone else was doing well.
Everything is fine and good and he often talks about how lucky he is and we are. I hate that this has a huge impact on me. Then he stopped and pulled something else out for breakfast. But, bringing two girls into the picture. The more you understand, the sooner you can start dealing with depression.
When I try and be sexy for you and you find some way to put me down by saying how the dress looks funny on me or you dont like my hair, that hurts too. We have been thru so much in our marriage he has had addiction issues that he had overcome and this is another thing to add to the list. Possibly, her parents did not share a good relationship together. Im actively searing for a job in my degree field. Like I said, this is the tough remedy. Marital conflict and anger are also associated with increased blood pressure, impaired immune function, and a poorer prognosis for spouses with coronary artery disease and congestive heart failure. It kills me that that is all I can say to the person that I love the most.
At this point, I am writing I guess for support and advice. He has no problem sleeping or getting on with his day. I am leaning heavily towards divorce at this point because my husband will not take responsibility for his anger issues. The wife is convinced that her low self-esteem and her unhappiness are the result of her husband's romantic failures. He thinks the bad names he calls me hurt. My situation is identical to yours — decades of marriage to a once-wonderful man.
He will go to the ends of the earth for them. If you dont, whole hell breaks loose. I would say to look up Borderline Personality Disorder. A 2004 study of 250 adults, entitled Too proud to let go: narcissistic entitlement as a barrier to forgiveness, found that narcissistic selfish entitlement was shown to be a robust, conceptually meaningful predictor of unforgiveness. She would always say she needed to be alone but would go out with her friends.