My own kids now range from 12 to 29, and their support for each other undoubtedly helped them cope better when my wife and I eventually divorced. They know how to take you down and strike when you are least capable of defending yourself. There was another, more difficult miscarriage. But Britain has great state schools, which would benefit if even more middle-class kids went to them—and the children would turn out better-equipped to deal with the real world. A girl age 5, a girl age 3 and a boy almost 1.
Just doing those things would be a job, but there are also more toys and debris on the floor, more garbage, more random acts of destruction…I love having a clean house. Not only can the general rigors of parenting make you too tired to have sex — many women can't have sex even if they want to in the months after having a child. I would bet that if you had another, you would have a new blog post about how people with 3 kids assume more would be easier! They are the best of friends and my little team. I also ignored any person who insisted that I would have a change of heart. And parenting was different in the past.
For the next year, we discussed the issues with my partner putting all the arguments against having children but my feelings about having a child grew stronger and stronger. I looked for some advice or guidance but didn't find a whole lot out there to help me. It is pushing against a comfort zone. I found your article really funny but after reading it and the comments, I feel horribly depressed! This is the world of will, an force that drives through all of nature, including even our supposedly autonomous higher faculties. I really did enjoy your blog, however. To throw that away for a kid would be nuts.
I did not intend to have three children, actually, and greatly struggled with supporting my family and raising a third child close in age to the others. I had children so that I could commit my life to them. And it does seem like everyone is happier and less stressed than their nuclear-familied, little-connected American counterparts. The funny thing now is, my oldest, now 30, and the only one to give me grandchildren, just had his second son, exactly 18 months apart, same birth months as him and his brother. Maybe it was the dynamics that made it work. I would be remiss if I did not own up to the benefits that having three kids comes with.
Our population only grows due to immigration, but yet we are still told to reproduce less? But this is what it is like to live with three of them at once. My children are 5, almost 4 and 2. The uncertainty is what makes it equal parts awful and exhilarating. It is funny, because I see alot of money going out of western countries towards other countries. I have never regretted having 4 children and have loved having a big family! Meanwhile other countries reproduce like rabbits.
Bear this in mind if you rush to reject my argument, and to defend a deeply harmful practice. Because, in this instance, it is asking us to shut the door on a potential future opportunity. As their children are more beautiful and more immortal, people who are pregnant in soul have more to share with one another and a stronger bond of between them. As the number of children rises, the number of sibling relationships rises exponentially. My experience battling this illness was so horrific that all kinds of self-doubt crept in and influenced my decision-making process.
However, folks who take this risk and end up with the opposite outcome — they took a chance on having kids because their partner was desperate to be a parent, and they ended up hating it — are also out there; they're probably just not bringing it up over brunch. In my 10 years of coaching, I've learnt many valuable lessons about making the decision to have children or not. Though I might get kind of snappish or forget where one of them is. And then one day I realized that middle children are awesome. The miscarriage had been emotionally devastating and physically exhausting. The absolute need is for a child to be safe, physically and psychologically.
We're all living the family dynamic, as parents, as children, as siblings, uncles and aunts. On days where it seems like everything is going great, my mom will suddenly go into an episode and ruin everything. In the worst case, we end up choosing none of the potentially good options, but a definitively bad one — paralysis — instead. For example, 40% of men and 37% of women in Britain develop cancer at some point. Thanks, I read the text just fine and completely understand the sentiments. So many times women in their late 30's or early 40's have said that if they were a decade later, they would happily defer the decision because they would like to keep all their options open.